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Tuesday, October 5, 2010

 

Rhythm. And lack of it.

i'm in week....3, i think of being at home with no children. it's still a bizarre world to me. i've been cleaning, organizing, planning and not sitting still very much at all. i don't know what i'm doing, to be honest.
i have spent a lot of time working on the rhythm of our kids days. at their Waldorf school they have set "days" that they can rely on. Monday is painting, Tuesday is working with bees wax, Wednesday is walkabout where they go on a long walk to the stream "we saw lots of salimanders today!" and Thursday is bread day. and now that i have 2 kids going to the school, we get 2 loaves. which totally rocks!
last year we had an afterschool rhythm as well and i felt it worked and helped the kids to feel held. it wasn't involved that they didn't have lots of time to just relax or play outside, but it was enough to provide some predictability. and safety. for the past week or so, i've been working to refine the rhythm to suit the new year and the new ages they have become. i'll talk more about it and what is another time, i am sure. a really helpful resource is the book Heaven on Earth. i LOVE this book (it's in the sidebar, too). it's written by a Waldorf teacher and it's by far the most helpful, hands-on book i've read about conscious parenting and incorporating the Waldorf approach at home. lov it.
today, i realized, as i was sort of spinning my wheels and melting down and not feeling held that i work really hard to make sure my children do not feel this way. but i don't do it for myself. i have no anchor. nothing to ground me. i don't know who i am without my children to take care of all day. so, i still spend much the day thinking about and preparing for their return home in the afternoon.
but, what about me? what about my need for something to hold on to? or some sort of rhythm to breathe into. how do i take care of myself in that same way?

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1 Comments:

Anonymous beth - total mom haircut said...

I loved that book. I almost want to go get it from the library again reading this...

I made a batch of cookies yesterday on my own. It was before Sam came home and while Robby napped. And it was so peaceful to do something on my own like that. At first I felt guilty, like I was depriving them of something by not waiting until they could help. But then I realized it's OK TO DO THINGS FOR ME, once in a while:)

October 6, 2010 at 9:47 AM  

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