autumnal goodies :: apple cider donuts

it all started with her birthday. you can see my little one in the background. recently turned 3. can't believe it! we'd been talking for a long while about what her cake should be. there were many ideas. most included chocolate chips. then we started to talk about Fall. and apple picking and how we always wanted to make apple cider donuts. and so. we decided this was our year. then she announced that for her birthday she would have donuts and ice cream. well. why not! far be it for me to deny a birthday girl her wish.

so, we made donuts! for the first time. and they were awesome! since then we also made some for the school bake sale. they were a hit there, too. which is great. i used this recipe from epicurious.com. now that i have made 3 batches of these bad boys, i think if i were to do donuts again, i would try a yeasted dough, but these were damm fine little dogs!

now the problem seems to be an addiction to deep frying. i have since amazed my children with my deep frying capabilities. my son thought i was a superhero after i turned a corn tortilla into 6 little tortilla chip triangles. i seriously think he thought i was a magician. then, of course we had to try some potato chips too. i think i'd better step away from the oil before i start to get fry crazy. anything could happen.

Rhythm. And lack of it.

i'm in week....3, i think of being at home with no children. it's still a bizarre world to me. i've been cleaning, organizing, planning and not sitting still very much at all. i don't know what i'm doing, to be honest.

i have spent a lot of time working on the rhythm of our kids days. at their Waldorf school they have set "days" that they can rely on. Monday is painting, Tuesday is working with bees wax, Wednesday is walkabout where they go on a long walk to the stream "we saw lots of salimanders today!" and Thursday is bread day. and now that i have 2 kids going to the school, we get 2 loaves. which totally rocks!

last year we had an afterschool rhythm as well and i felt it worked and helped the kids to feel held. it wasn't involved that they didn't have lots of time to just relax or play outside, but it was enough to provide some predictability. and safety. for the past week or so, i've been working to refine the rhythm to suit the new year and the new ages they have become. i'll talk more about it and what is another time, i am sure. a really helpful resource is the book Heaven on Earth. i LOVE this book (it's in the sidebar, too). it's written by a Waldorf teacher and it's by far the most helpful, hands-on book i've read about conscious parenting and incorporating the Waldorf approach at home. lov it.

today, i realized, as i was sort of spinning my wheels and melting down and not feeling held that i work really hard to make sure my children do not feel this way. but i don't do it for myself. i have no anchor. nothing to ground me. i don't know who i am without my children to take care of all day. so, i still spend much the day thinking about and preparing for their return home in the afternoon.

but, what about me? what about my need for something to hold on to? or some sort of rhythm to breathe into. how do i take care of myself in that same way?